Cis person, educate thyself!

This blog has a new purpose.  I was trying to turn it into a wiki to use for giving talks, but now it's a space for talking about whatever I want to talk about.

I want to complain.

So I got myself in an argument on the internet.  (Wow, that never happens.)  An FtM brought up a problem which I find valid.  Some cis people who barely know a trans person but hear that they have transitioned will say, "You're so brave."  This is a problem because not every trans person feels their transition required bravery.  Some people had it easy.

Another contingent (A smaller one) of the FtM community showed up in this case and said, "Oh, but every trans person is brave for transitioning!" and "Well, even if they didn't, we don't want the cis people to think that some people weren't brave."  And let's not forget, "But they mean so well!  And they want to learn!  So we should teach them, and that way they can be beacons!"  Yes, the word 'beacon' was used.  No, you don't understand.  Let me show you.


"i'm not saying that people shouldn't be their own beacons. but if you have the possibility to make another beacon, i think that is a good thing. how do you make a beacon out of someone who doesn't already realize how to shine?"

Understand now?  This person wants you to be a beacon!  We can't let the cis people wander off all ignorant like, because if we don't teach them, they'll never know.  And then all our oppression is our own fault.

Allow me to be a beacon, then.  Cis people, please come here.  Come close.  Let's have a little chat in my office.

Now that you're here, thank you for responding to the name that trans people have given you.  That's pretty awesome.  And if a blind person calls you sighted, please also respond accordingly.  Because if everyone is going to be categorized, you've got to be categorized too.

Alright, then, on to business.  I don't want to be rude.  I like peace and harmony.  I meditate, even.  I hate confrontation and I much prefer good conversation.  But not everyone does.  I tend to not like to bother with talking to strangers.  In all but one job I've had, I didn't like my coworkers at all.  So i'm nice, but not always social.  And I know that you all are a very nice lot. It is important to keep that in mind.


There are things that you don't know.  And there are things you will probably not understand perfectly because you haven't experienced them.  But you can learn to approximate, just like human beings do with anything intangible.  So rest assured, if you listen to us talk and try to learn, you are going to learn exactly what you need to know.  And what you don't learn won't matter.  Just be truly open minded and believe us when we say something is important or wrong.


And if we are abrupt with you and don't want to talk, or we don't want to sit and educate you, deal with it.  It isn't our fault that you don't know.  We live in this society too, and have had to deal with everything that lead you to be ignorant.  We learned all about ourselves and our people by the same way that you can learn - by looking for the words that trans people themselves write when discussing their community.


If you want to learn anything, listen to the experts talk among themselves.  That goes for languages, crafts and anything else.  Taking a class and having someone sit you down to explain may give you an overview, but you won't learn it.  You'll forget stuff.  You also won't know what an experience -truly- means unless you have more context.  When someone complains about the fail they were subjected to by a cis person, they will go into detail about it.  so instead of hearing, "This is fail, don't do it," you'll hear what the fail is, how it was encountered in real life, and most likely you'll hear why the trans person disliked it.  And if there are comments, chances are you'll hear other trans people discuss aspects of the fail, or argue about it.

Welcome to internet world.  Educate yourself.